HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Randomize
