Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
