I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
