Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
