actually, I'm a sock model
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
