Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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