that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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