yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Randomize
