Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
