She's JV to your varsity
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
We have started to decorate penises.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
