you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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