a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
