you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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