Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
it's like iHOP with fire
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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