honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
