i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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