Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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