talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
