I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i will never coherently bang her
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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