capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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