He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
