Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
A+ Viking dick
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
