About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
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