I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
