So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
