Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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