I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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