I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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