You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
