watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
