Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
