I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
