somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
