Already got asked if we're dating
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
