real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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