a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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