Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
There r osticjed everywhere
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Randomize
