I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
vagina is talking i cant
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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