It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
