I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
