Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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