i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
