If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize