I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
