How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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