we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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