I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
