Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
