she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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