i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
