After last night, I could never be a politician.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Randomize
